we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
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