I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
We had to coat check the pizza.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
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