Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
