I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Randomize
