i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
Randomize
