Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
