Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
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