She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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