somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
