Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
