did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
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