omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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