Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
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