What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
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