On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
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