census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
We don't watch enough power rangers
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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