Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
