forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize