When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Just puked most of my soul out..
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
