Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
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