If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
