I think im going to throw up on grandma
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Randomize
