Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
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