Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
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