you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
