Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
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