"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
Randomize