theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I have grass duct taped all over my body
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
