Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
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