the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
So much rum. So many feels.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Randomize
