shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
