I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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