I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
