Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Randomize
