Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
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