I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
