I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Randomize
