your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
You may now shotgun with the bride
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Randomize
