id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Randomize
