They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Randomize
