hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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