i just wanna soil my oats bro
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Randomize
