Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Randomize
