Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Randomize
