Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
My liver just had a heart attack.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Randomize
