I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
After last night, I could never be a politician.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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