mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
A+ Viking dick
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
