How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
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