just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
