Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
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