Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
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