Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
The police scanner is talking about you again....
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Randomize
