i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Randomize