i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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