she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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