i wish peter jackson would direct porn
Four minutes until I can fart!
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
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