he wants to bone in the snuggie
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
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