Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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