All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
